Write the Book Inside You
Write the Book Inside You
#65 Unlock Self-Love & Mindfulness in Just 21 Days with "Sunflower Medicine"
Keen to ensure balance not burnout? This episode has the cure with guest Sunflower on applying Sunflower Medicine of Self-Love for 21 days!
In this episode of the Write the Book Inside You podcast, host Caryl Westmore is joined by transformational author, speaker, and coach, Sunflower. Sunflower shares powerful insights from her personal journey of overcoming adversity and embracing self-love, mindfulness, and transformation.
Caryl begins by sharing her exciting news about her new book ChatGPT AI Book Writing Formula being an Amazon bestseller since launching [November 2024]
Sunflow Medicine's story: After experiencing significant challenges, including a difficult divorce and a life-altering diagnosis of throat cancer, Sunflower found herself at a crossroads. In this conversation, she discusses how these life events catalyzed a deep inner transformation. She shares her journey from traditional healing methods, like meditation, to exploring alternative paths, including plant medicine, which ultimately led her to profound self-healing.
Sunflower's book, 21 Days of Self-Love and Mindfulness, is a guide to shifting from burnout to balance. Through 21 days of reflection, Sunflower leads readers to explore key obstacles such as fear, obligation, and guilt, and teaches how to clear the "fog" that often clouds our self-worth. By using her unique "grace model," Sunflower helps individuals get grounded, aligned, and fulfilled, all while emphasizing the importance of mindfulness as a tool for personal and spiritual growth.
Throughout this episode, Sunflower also dives into the themes of energy as currency and the deep connection between mind, body, and spirit. She shares how releasing trauma and negative beliefs can have profound physical effects, even making us look younger and feel lighter. She explains how trauma, particularly from childhood, can impact self-esteem and hinder progress, but that through self-compassion and mindfulness, we can begin to heal and truly live in alignment with our authentic selves.
If you're struggling with self-worth or need guidance on connecting with your inner strength, this episode offers an inspiring roadmap for transformation. Sunflower's approach is both practical and profound, helping listeners not only navigate their inner worlds but also make real-life changes.
To find out more about Sunflower’s work, her book, and upcoming coaching programs, visit her website at
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Podcast Transcript:
Host: Caryl Westmore
Guest: Sunflower
Caryl Westmore:
Are you guilty of putting other people's needs before your own? Are you consumed by feelings of obligation and low self-worth when you put yourself first? If you want to move past that and change to self-love, then this episode is for you. My guest today says we can change this pattern and shift from burnout to balance in 21 days, and she's written this book to guide us. [Points to the copy of the book Sunflower Medicine: 21 Days of Self Love and Mindfulness: 3-in-1 Lessons, Workbook and Journal for Personal Transformation]
Hello and welcome to the Write the Book Inside You podcast. Tips, tools, and interviews for coaches and healers like you who want to write a non-fiction book to boost your visibility, clients, and cash flow while making a difference. I'm your host, Caryl Westmore, a multi-published author and energy psychology tapping book coach. Now let's jump into today's episode.
QUICK UPDATE FROM CARYL WESTMORE ABOUT HER NEW BOOK
Hello, Caryl Westmore here, it's November 2024, and I've got some exciting news from my own life, which I'd like to share with you before we dive into this interview. The way to explain it is that I launched my new book, the most exciting book I think I've ever written, ChatGPT AI Book Writing Formula. It's aimed at coaches, healers, therapists, entrepreneurs who have a book inside them to attract clients and boost their business and would like to learn how to do it ten to a hundred times faster and easier using ChatGPT AI plus my nine-step book writing formula.
And to introduce you to it, here's our sponsor.
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Caryl Westmore:
Now back to the show. Welcome, Sunflower.
Sunflower:
Yes, thank you. So happy to be here, it's a pleasure.
Caryl Westmore:
So Sunflower, you call yourself a transformational author, speaker, and coach sharing stories and insight from your own personal journeys on how we can expand our consciousness and love ourselves. I'm guessing, if I'm not wrong, that you've had some low points on your personal journey that set you on this path as a guide for transformation. Could you share one of those?
Sunflower:
Absolutely. And there have been a few. I've actually gone through a period where my reflection has been like, I know I wake up every day with the best intentions. You know, I know since I can remember I've done that and yet I look back and I have had challenges. I've been through a divorce. Probably my most pivotal transformational experience was being diagnosed with throat cancer. And this was somebody who had looked, you know, I really followed Marianne Williamson and a lot of spirituality all of my life through the whole time I was raising kids. And I knew, I know that I am a spirit with a body and that I have some facility with my mental, physical, and emotional state, but I didn't have any access to healing myself. And I did all the meditation. I, you know, did the Joe Dispenza teachings, but I just didn't have access to that.
And so I got really serious about it. I got in a journey. I explored plant medicine. I had to really look at not just what I knew and could read and understand, but what I practiced and how I integrated it, transform truly my experience of myself and my life. It's been a blessing. Because it catapults you in a new direction. And I would not have gone there without it.
And anyone who did ask me at the beginning of my journey, I had a, you know, a counselor say, "You've just got a lot of issues around anger." And I'm like, "I'm the least angry person you'll know." I just didn't see it. And so the universe took me where I needed to go. We choose how we want to learn our lessons.
Caryl Westmore:
Yes. So how did the cancer heal? Because obviously you're fine now. Can you tell us a bit more about that part of your journey?
Sunflower:
Absolutely. So I did about six months of just really vegan and meditation. And again, did not feel like I was getting the results. It wasn't growing, but it wasn't going away. And so I went to the doctor and I said, all right, let's explore this radiation chemotherapy thing. And they had a treatment plan of about 35, 40 radiation treatments. I got a third of the way through that and my body just said no.
And even starting this journey, the deal I made with my body was, I know I haven't listened to you, I'm gonna listen to you more. And so after committing to listening to my body when my body said this is brutal, this is barbaric and you can't love your body this is my experience and do this. I explored plant medicine. I went to a hospital facility in Costa Rica that also serves ayahuasca. I know that ayahuasca does not cure cancer, but what I learned is that I do.
I do, but ayahuasca really helped me shift some paradigms and take away some beliefs that were getting in the way. It has gotten me on this journey that I share with people that's... It's the good news is it's all me. The bad news is it's all me. I have the power to take this on.
Caryl Westmore:
Yes, yes. Can you share any of the beliefs, maybe one or two, that obviously relate to what the biggest obstacles people face when trying to connect with their self-worth? Because I presume some of those beliefs were around self-worth, which your book is about. Your book points to self-love and mindfulness. Can you share maybe one of those beliefs that really sticks out?
Sunflower:
Yeah, I would say at the core of it all is that I'm not in control. I believed, I believed I could take control. And a lot of the, when you, at the beginning, some of the things that you said about, you know, caring for other people before myself, I grew up feeling scared and unsafe. Fear drove pretty much every activity in my life. To address fear, I got really good at reading a room and thinking I knew what people needed, controlling things. It worked until it didn't.
And so the biggest shift for me was just to let go. And it sounds so simple, but simple isn't easy.
Caryl Westmore:
What were you controlling?
Sunflower:
Yes, what I was trying to control is what other people thought of me and what other people were gonna give me and who I was gonna be in the world and other people's minds. But actually, the opposite is true. What I can control is what I spend my time thinking about. What I can control is what energy I allow to impact me and how I interact with energy and my awareness of my own energy and the other energies around me. So it isn't that I have no control, it's just what I do and don't have control of and I have control of me.
Caryl Westmore:
Throughout your book, you're giving people 21 days of reflecting on that in different... I mean that's right. So I think energy is one of them that I did note.
Sunflower:
Yes. The first week is really focused on service. And I'm going to say as a woman and as a mother that all came very naturally, but I got to a point where my service was in order to prove something or control something rather than express my love. And so the first week is really about getting in a place where you can really own the purpose. Your purpose in life is to love and be loved. Everything else is handled and flows from that.
Then the second week is more about really how to identify and take on those things that fulfill you. Fulfillment. And there's a model in there called grace where you give yourself grace, you get grounded, resolute, aligned with your mind, body, spirit, celebrating, and at ease. So we talk about those things.
And then the third week we look at, okay, now that you've got this context, you've got your feet on the ground, you see what you can do, let's address what gets in the way.
Caryl Westmore:
What is the biggest obstacle people face when trying to connect with their self-worth and to love themselves? What is it?
Sunflower:
I call it the fog, clearing the fog. We get into a fog and the fog almost always... When you're stuck, whether it's writing a book or
taking on a new level or applying for a new job or just, you know, having an impact on your kids. When you're stuck and feel like you can't do it or won't take the next step, ask yourself, what am I afraid of? That's the F. F for fear.
Caryl Westmore:
Yeah. Yeah, F is for fear. So fear... What am I afraid of? Like, what's the worst that could go wrong? What's stopping me? Am I afraid I'm going to get laughed at? Am I afraid I'm going to be unsuccessful? And if I'm unsuccessful, what does that mean about me? And you start to unravel some of these beliefs like you know I talked about earlier. So look at really what's driving what fears are setting boundaries and limits on what you will and won't do.
The next one is obligation and you know when I've talked to people about taking on a new role or becoming an author while also handling being a mom or whatever else, when I hear them say I can't, it is often followed by, "I have to." Right? I have to do this, I have to do that.
And if you start to look at your obligations, you can explore, can I renegotiate, right? What am I doing that I haven't agreed to, and is there anything that I want to be responsible for? Is there anything, are there people that I'm serving or owing that aren't supportive of my fullest self's expression? And how do we look at that? That's the O, that's the obligation.
And then the last one is G for guilt. Guilt has a lot to do with forgiveness. You know, when have I tried something in the past that didn't go well? When have I let someone down? When have I been disappointed? And so in order to really free from that, you've got to recognize what's in the past and that you don't want to bring the past into your future, right? You can create an empty future of possibility from where you are by just getting okay and accepting of what's happened in the past.
So yes, that's clearing the fog, those obstacles.
Caryl Westmore:
I would really like you to talk about lessons I taught my dog and then myself. You quote Elizabeth Taylor saying some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses. So tell us about Juniper, your dog. People like people love their pets, but this one taught you something.
Sunflower:
That's right. Juniper... I adopted Juniper while I was having radiation, so at one of the low points in my life. I adopted her from a shelter; she's a three-legged mutt mix, you know, and it took her some time to get adjusted. And she is... If she didn't want me to go somewhere, she would bite my feet and try to take my shoes. Now, I didn't know what that was at first. I know now that if she takes my shoe, I can't leave, you know, or she'll take my shoe to the backyard because she wants me to go with her. So she's a very smart dog.
But we got to a point where she was very protective of me. I've since learned when I did a DNA test that Juniper's top two breeds are Chihuahua and Pitbull. So she's got a lot of protective energy and a vicious growl and she nipped a neighbor, you know, she bit his ankle and it drew blood, no stitches, but I really started to get worried like what am I going to need, what do I got to do to be sure this dog doesn't get, you know, euthanized, rebinding things.
"Juniper, what have I got to do to get through to you?" So I actually called a pet psychic and I said, "Tell me what this dog is thinking." And at the end of the day, she talked about what I wanted to communicate to the dog. And the things that I heard myself saying to the dog, I actually heard God say to me, you know, like, "You're safe. You're safe." "If you see things that..." So many times that we experience. Isn't that beautiful?
Yeah, it is. And your job is to love people and enjoy this life. You don't need to protect me or anyone else. And when you get anxious, be still and quiet. Look to me and I will comfort you. So I really drew those out.
Caryl Westmore:
And of course, that brings us to the topic of mindfulness. Tell us about mindfulness in the mix of your healing journey and how it can help us.
Sunflower:
So for me, I've certainly learned the difference between being mindful and being really smart. And I would say the first 35, 40 years of my life, I really enjoyed getting really smart. Mindfulness has allowed me to just let go of those things that I told Juniper, you know, it allows me to be present to my energy. It allows me to be aware of my thoughts.
The things that are most impacting my success are not the, you know, the book that I'm reading or the ideas and the thoughts. Some of my work, you know, outside of my transformation and authoring for personal development, I do business information and coaching as well. And I coach leaders who can quote some of the best leadership books around. And at the end of the day, if they've been sent to me for coaching, it's not because they don't know something, it's because they aren't exhibiting it and how they behave.
So yeah, mindfulness allows you to get really present to the context that you're behaving in. It's not just your behaviors. It's the context that's driving your automatic autopilot existence. And there are a lot of different ways to become mindful—breathwork, yoga, meditation, but that the grace model really, really helps the readers who explore here, explore different ways that work best for them on becoming more mindful.
Caryl Westmore:
Yes, I was going to ask you about some quick daily exercises from your book that listeners can do. It may not only be about mindfulness, it might be about grounding or whatever.
Sunflower:
That's right.
Caryl Westmore:
Give us a few.
Sunflower:
Sure, so ways to get grounded, my favorite way to get grounded is to just stand outside barefoot, and Juniper reminds me to do this. If I'm spending too much time here in my office, she comes and she grabs my shoe and takes me outside. So standing outside is a great way to become mindful. Turning off your phone helps you hear what's going on in your head, meditation. And I got really stuck early on in wondering whether or not I was doing meditation right. You know, because I would try it and then my mind would drift.
Well, I've since discovered why my mind drifts during meditation. And the reason your mind drifts during meditation is because you're a human. That is all. And you've got to let that happen. Notice that it happened and then clear the mind again. But, you know, yeah, I would say, you know, feet on the ground, meditation, journaling is another really great way to do it.
Caryl Westmore:
Yes, tell us about journaling. It seems that you've made your book so that it's part of the journal.
Sunflower:
Yes.
Caryl Westmore:
Just tell us about that, there are three parts, I think.
Sunflower:
That's right, that's right, good. So each... yeah, for each day, there are three parts. The first part is the lesson, which is pretty short usually, you know, one to four pages. And lessons are interesting. Lessons help you know things and see things from a new perspective. That's great.
The next part is reflections. So I call that lesson part the academic part, and it applies universally and it's a great concept and idea, but it doesn't have real value to you until you apply it to your life. So the reflections questions actually take it to you. They ask you some questions about your life. How does this apply to you? And have you start exploring that concept in your own mind and your own behaviors and thoughts? So the reflection space is a big part. And I call it "what, so what."
And then the third part is the journaling. The "now what" is I like to say that again...
Caryl Westmore:
I was going to ask you about that. So the first part is "what is this about?"
Sunflower:
Yes.
Caryl Westmore:
The second is "well, so what, does that mean for you? Why is this relevant?"
Sunflower:
Yes.
Caryl Westmore:
And then "now what?" Tell me about that part.
Sunflower:
Yeah, "now what?" is where you get your journal and you make plans, you make commitments. You say, this is what I want. This is what I can do. You know, this is my plan for meditation. This is how I want to do this. These are things I can do differently. And you get to actually start creating what's next for you. And it's relevant. It's for you. The person holding you accountable there is you. Now, you can see in some of the later messages that there's also value in having someone else hold you accountable. But first and foremost is to align mind, heart, body. This is me and this is who I'm committed to. So you do that in your journal.
Caryl Westmore:
Yes. And could I ask you, this book is based on work you've done with people, maybe retreats, etc. Can you
give us an example without, you know, sharing a name or anything of how someone might have changed their life around thanks to this approach?
Sunflower:
Yeah, there are several people that I've worked with that have had various different challenges. You know one of them is a very close friend in Midland who has... she had a very challenging childhood that included family abuse and her self-esteem was on the ground.
And just like you and just like me, she had the purest heart. And every day she stood up really wanting to do well, right? Woke up. And but every day she would hit a wall. And the wall she would hit she didn't know was her. She really thought the wall was this hard life she'd been given. And so we've certainly worked on some meditations and coaching and, you know, different practices that she can bring in. She did some plant medicine but it isn't a big part of her practice. The biggest part of her practice is what's next and taking her steps.
There's a great acronym in a book I read called How to Know People by James Brook, where he talked about L -O -V -E. It means letting others voluntarily evolve.
And what this book allows and what this approach and what we explore in the retreats and in the coaching is your own pace, really you on your journey, you choosing how you want to learn these lessons. And the sooner you really, you know, my friend, the more that she gets and accepts her own role, the more freedom she has. Because I would say the biggest thing that she's had to bump up against every day is that someone did that to her. Someone did this to her.
And, you know, acknowledging that that shouldn't have happened. And what it cost her inner child, what it cost her heart and her soul and her willingness to be vulnerable was significant. And the sooner she can make peace with it and move on, the easier it is for her. So yeah, it's been a journey.
Caryl Westmore:
Do you think 21 days is realistic? Why did you choose 21 days for transformation?
Sunflower:
Yeah, I think 21 days is a realistic time to take on a new approach. I think committing to anything longer, committing to a program is a little bit more of a life commitment. But for me personally, those three weeks allows some time to get in to explore and then just see what's next. So I don't think 21 days will necessarily turn you into a free, multi-million-dollar something. I don't know what that looks like. It's not going to turn everything around, but it'll certainly give you the platform and the tools to be on that journey confidently.
Caryl Westmore:
Yes, and you mentioned another thing which I don't think you explained in the book and that is that your aging will be more graceful. What is that about, age in this whole... your teachings?
Sunflower:
Yeah, and again, it's my experience is that so much of this knowledge comes from so much of the misunderstanding I had was in how I raised kids. So as my kids were grown and my life seemed to change, my approach to service changed. And so for me, it provided that for me personally. And so it is included in, and sort of one of the benefits from the book, but I don't know that the book specifically says that.
I've just had the experience, my clients have had the experience that freedom, full self-expression, and fulfillment take age out of the equation completely.
Caryl Westmore:
Yeah, I know that for sure because of how I've been doing trauma, releasing people from traumas for 20 years. And even after one session, often they just look so much younger as if so much weight has come off their shoulders when they've done some inner releasing work and forgiving if possible.
Sunflower:
Yes. And that kind of aligns with, I think one of the last sections of the book is energy is currency, right? Energy is actually, it is truly the give and take. It's our wealth and freedom from trauma, freedom to fully express and transmute and transfer and conduit energy is ageless. And you don't realize that some of the trauma that you're speaking of, I really appreciate that you brought that up. Some of the limiting beliefs, the boundaries, the walls that we carry around, they're physical.
They live in us physically. The mind, the body, and the spirit are truly connected. And so, absolutely, yes.
Caryl Westmore:
Well, I think a lot of my listeners will know about the ACE traumas, that when you have the, you know, they, I think they're 20, but the top traumas that have, you know, affected people take 20 years off their life and that's what the test shows. So even if we bring this down to, you know, lesser maybe violent traumas, the fact is it does constrict the flow of energy and therefore, you know, obviously that is why we age sooner maybe when we haven't released those traumas.
Caryl Westmore:
So to bring this to a close, is there anything that I haven't asked you that you would like to mention about where you're going to take this book? Because I'm going to ask you where can people find it? Are you going to evolve it into courses or how do you see your book developing?
Sunflower:
Good. So the book is going to be in paperback and hardback on October 11th. So it'll be available on Amazon. Coincidentally, at the same time, my YouTube channel of Disrupt and Thrive will have daily coaching, group coaching that people can go, so that we can build a community. Additionally, in addition to that, we're going to do some retreats. I'd like to do some three-day retreats. Community, again, adds to that middle part, the So what, the relevance, hearing other people's stories, you know, even me just talking to my dog, you know, helps me see things that I wouldn't normally see. So yes, YouTube, retreats in person, either here in the United States and Costa Rica. And then eventually we could probably do some, you know, daily virtual community gatherings. That's the way I see it.
Caryl Westmore:
Where do people go to check this out?
Sunflower:
Yes, so the website is Sunflower Medicine. I'm sorry, I'm not ready for that. I'm going to need to put it in the comments, but it's at sites.google.sunflowermedicine.com and I will, I'll send you that.
Caryl Westmore:
Yeah, we do need a link. It'll be on Amazon just as I've got it up here, Sunflower.
Sunflower:
What's it called?
Caryl Westmore:
Sunflower Medicine: 21 Days of Self-Love and Mindfulness.
Sunflower:
Yes.
Caryl Westmore:
God for transformational impact. Why did you choose the name Sunflower Medicine and do you have another name in your business life? I believe you do. Do you want to share how you manage both parts of yourself?
Sunflower:
Well, let's talk about the name. Sunflower Medicine.
Caryl Westmore:
Sure.
Sunflower:
Anyone who knows me and spends time with me, knows that the word sunflower just resonates. It's who I am. And so it's always resonated with me. I had a yellow shirt on one time a decade ago and somebody just called me sunflower and I'm like, that's, that's who I am. But with my journey around the power of plants and nature and experiencing myself as a healer, Sunflower Medicine is just a really true expression of who I am. And as I'm embarking on this journey with building a community and the books that I'm writing, that's the name that I'm using for this kind of transformational work.
As a transformation, change management consultant in the real world, my name is Paula Schwartz, and I enjoy the work and the reputation I've got there. We're the same person, but it's a very unique and expression as Sunflower Medicine.
Caryl Westmore:
Yes. I believe that other part of you is writing another book to be released in December, is that right?
Sunflower:
It's called The Integrated Leader.
Caryl Westmore:
Okay. So that's more the Paula Schwartz side.
Sunflower:
That's right.
Caryl Westmore:
You can see the covers on your website are very different.
Sunflower:
Yes. Thank you.
Caryl Westmore:
Well done. I wish you all the best with that. Thank you very much for coming and sharing the sunshine of your sunflower laugh. It's such a pleasure.
Caryl Westmore:
Thanks for joining me on today's podcast. Want a free gift to inspire you further on your book-writing adventure? My free checklist, Five Book Hook Tips to Kickstart Your Bookwriting Journey, will help you get clarity on the key essentials to make your book a winner. Download it at writethebookinsideyou.com/freegift.
The links are in the show notes. Until next time, a big virtual hug and keep writing.